Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak (James 1:19-20)

record and then we got to do the pinning thing. Pin. All right. So, uh I I know we've done this before on here last year, the year before somewhere, but um we record them now and uh and it's good stuff and and we have some new people and so I'd like to cover it. We're in the book of James. Uh every everybody has their uh their I maybe I shouldn't say that. Um, I I'll say anyway, everybody has their book that they, you know, you got a new believer, hey, where should I start? And it's common to hear, start in the Gospels. I hear I hear probably more than anything, start in the book of John.

Uh, John's the called the the the Gospel of Love. Uh, great book. They're all great books, right? There's 66 of them. You can't go wrong. Pick one. Uh, I I'm a fan of James. Uh, he's the halfbrother of Jesus, so same mom, very different dad. Um, but to me, James is like the cliffnotes version of Christianity and and he doesn't hold anything back. He just tells it like it is. He's like he's not he's not trying to save your feelings. He's not he's just cutting straight to the right straight to the chase. It's it's a short five chapters. It's easy to get through.

I mean, to me, you're a brand new Christian, read James. So, this is where I go. So, we're going to be in James chapter 1 today, and we're going to be in verses uh 19 and 20. And uh at our church when we were in our in our Clearwater location when it was first opened, they did a a summer series um uh Bible study. They do it every summer. It's usually five weeks long. And this particular week, they did James uh and they had a they had some guests uh come in to to do the Bible study for us. And I I can't remember the man's name. I think Katie's on.

Katie remembers it. Um uh but I but he said something in this and based on these these scriptures right here which just completely stuck with me and hit home and and I wrote it on the grease boards at our offices and my my kids have it memorized and it's just become a part of of uh the Dunko household. And so let me read the verses. And so we're in James 1 19 and 20. And it says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

And so, let's kind of break it out for a minute. Uh, one thing that I've never really touched on is that uh, so there's three things here, right? So, it's quick to listen, slow to speak, and then slow to get emotional, slow to get that anger revving. When James is talking about be quick to listen, he's he's not necessarily a and maybe he's even more so talking about not being quick to listen to your wife or to your husband or to your kids or to your boss or to your friend or to whoever. It's be quick to listen to God because he's talking to you.

And if you're and if you if you'll be quick to listen to that, then you'll be quick to listen to others as well, too. So, so, so everyone should be quick to listen, very slow to speak. It doesn't say very. I added that in for context. So, uh, slow to speak and slow to become angry. So, he so really what he's asking us to do and in sales we have this this uh saying uh you have two ears and one mouth and you should use them in direct proportion to one another. So, what does that mean Dwayne? That means that you should listen twice as much as you speak.

Where did I get that from? you ask. I got it from James thousands of years ago. He said it right here. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. So, we had this guy come in and he he was the guest and he and he he said these three things which I'll never forget. As I told you, I've got it's been become the part of the Duno household. And the three things are this. Um, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? and does it need to be said by me? And if you will filter your conversations, if you remember that, if you remember that this comes from this verse right here, if you will filter your conversations, the relationships you have, and you will filter that through that, you will be amazed at how much better your relationships go.

So, I'll say it again. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? And does it need to be said by me? And the reason why I bring this up, these are all the said things because he's telling us to be slow to speak and slow to anger. And he puts those two things together because it's our mouth that gets us in trouble. It's not our ears. It's not our elbow. Was never our knee. It's always our mouth that gets us into trouble. It's our mouth. And it may and sometimes it's what we say actually creates the anger inside of us. It's not even the action that the other person did or what they did to us or what they said.

Our response then generates the anger. And so if you will filter your relationships, if you will filter your conversations, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? And does it need to be said by me? So example, we had four daughters and uh my wife uh had a hard time training me on the fact that you have to pick your battles. I'm like, "No, I want to win them all." And she's like, "No, you have to pick your bouts." What does that mean? It means the thing that's in my brain that I want to put in their brain sometimes doesn't even need to be said.

It's just going to make me feel better. Again, my mouth getting me into trouble. So, pause, slow down, take a moment. Do I even need to say this thing? Is there any reason to say it? Is saying this going to improve the relationship or the conversation? And if you will ask yourself that question, nine times out of 10, you'll realize no words are needed. So, does it need to be said by me? Again, I'll use my family as context. Uh, my daughters in certain circumstances and situations are going to take things coming from their dad way better than they're going to take it coming from their mom.

And so, Stacy and I learned that through this. And so we learned that's probably going to be better coming from you, babe. Or that's probably going to be better coming from you, babe. Whatever direction it might be. So, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? They may need to hear the thing. It may be important for them to hear the thing, whoever they are, and whatever the thing is. But let's determine who they're going to hear it best from, because it may very well not be you. And then the last one, does it need to be said right now?

uh you're in the you're you're you're you've got to reprimand your child. Your child just did something uh that was wrong. They may not be in a teaching moment right now. The tension is high. The emotion is high. Their their brains are scrambled right now. So, giving them the instruction right now may not be the proper time. Your staff member did this and there's a group of people around. it's probably not the time to say the thing because we all have egos. All of us do care whether you're 80 or you're four. You have an ego and we and and it doesn't like to be bruised.

So, does it does it need to be said at this very moment or can I say this later? Should I wait till the tension comes down? Can I wait till we're alone? Can I wait until after I've had some time to really think about how I want to say that thing? So, let me read the scripture again. My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger because uh human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. And then I follow it up with does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now?

And does it need to be said by me? All right. So, thoughts, comments, suggestions? Unpin, sir. Unpinning. Excellent idea. I never thought about a tattoo, but now I think I've got it for both arms. That's awesome. There we go. We're we're we're creating industry here. We're keeping the tattoo business going. All right. Anybody else? Thanks, Clyde. That that saying it's a saying that I think I agree with Tai about the tattoo party. I just it saved me from so much. So every time you say it or repeat it, it's like when we read the word that the more we read it, the better we get at it.

So the more you you say it, the more I hear it, the better I get at it because it saved me from a lot. Amen. Yeah. I'll just piggyback that. Like when I first heard the two years one, not to take away from scripture, of course, but when when I heard the two years, one mouth and you know the the idea behind that, it it it's a game changer when you start to implement it. You actually learn more, you know, by listening more. Yeah. And remember, you know, James is James is bringing this he's he's saying these things to to help us in our walk, right?

It's to it's to allow you to see where your heart can actually get to if you just employ some some certain simple things because it does it changes your heart. And at the end of the day, that's what we're after. That's what God's after. He's after our heart. I love the anger piece. I love I think 95% of the things I regret saying in this life probably came out of anger. And as as I read this verse, at first I'm I'm picturing myself just calmly receiving everything my wife's saying. But right, when when I'm angry, that's when this that's when the bad stuff comes out.

So I love your I love your checklist. Good filter. Awesome. It's better that I be thought of as a fool than to open my mouth and remove all doubt. Remove all doubt. Yes, I love that one, too. That's absolutely true. Yep. I I would add to that. I would add to that that just I think that we need to have what is our our desire for what we're going to say? What is the result we want for it to have? And that's that's not what we want. We want to build up and edify and and you know, I love that in our our manager meetings, you know, Dwayne is often talking about what can we do better and how do we and you know, give me the facts, you know, give me the addresses so I can look it up.

And so, you know, that's what we need. We need facts. our our feelings might make us feel better, but it's not always going to accomplish, you know, what God has instructed us to do, and that is to build up and edify the body. Um, and sometimes it means come alongside and and come to them and say, "Listen, this is what you've done wrong." but never done with feelings and wanting to be, you know, get things off our chest. That's that's probably where we're going to go wrong. I I I I think where where you started on that, Richard, is the right is the right thing.

And I think that's the reason why we're so we're supposed to be slow to speak is because it gives us an opportunity. The the ultimate goal is to respond. If someone's talking to us, God's talking to us. He's he's looking for a response. and whether that response is obedience and a walk um which is typically what that is but if we're if we're slow and we hear that we we can ultimately know how am I supposed to respond let there should be a goal there should be a this is this is the objective in how I'm going to respond and that that doesn't that doesn't happen like that takes time for us to digest that takes time for us to think about that uh where we need to get to and whether it's a conversation or whether it's an action uh I think that's what this scripture is really really good for it.

It forces us to slow down and well it doesn't force us to do anything. It asks us to slow down and and uh and to respond accordingly. So yeah. All right. 30 seconds. Anybody? 20 seconds. There you go. Little bites. How you how do you eat an elephant? Yes. One one bite at a time, right? There you go. All right. Well, let's bow our heads. Father, thank you so much uh for this incredible uh dare I say self-help book, right? I mean, it's it's just an amazing 66 books that at every step and every stage its goal and desire is to make our to improve our heart, to make our heart better.

All we have to do is to listen. All we have to do is be quick to listen and slow to speak, slow to act. Take it in. digest it, dwell on it. There's a reason why scripture says to write it to the tablet of your heart. And so, Father, I just pray that we would do that. I pray that we would as a as a as a group, as a as a Christian organization, as a body of believers, as a group who comes here Monday through Thursday, that we would read this text and and uh and and we'll cover this uh today's Thursday. Yes, Father. We'll cover Thank you. We'll cover this on Monday.

A couple other scriptures that talk about being a doer. And so, Father, I just pray that that we would do these things, that we would read it, and that we would write it to our heart. We're we're going to we're going to miss it at times. We We all do. I certainly do, Father. But I'm I'm so thankful that when I when that happens that I can look up, I can repent. And I know that you're going to instantly apply grace to that that problem. And you've already forgotten what happened. And so, Lord, I just pray that we we don't use that as an excuse to sin.

We don't use that as an excuse to be okay to to stumble and fall, but we but we but we know that it's there. We know that that unconditional love is there when we do. And so, Father, I just pray that we would we would learn these things that we would that we would start to to put them in, Father, I pray that for everyone on the call today and for those of us that that that we knew that we can share these things with others. Father, we thank you. We just ask that you watch over us this weekend. Uh if if there's anybody on this call who's not going to church, find a church, get in a church, get in community, uh get closer to you.

Father, we love you. We praise you. And as always, in your son Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen. All right, all see you guys uh Monday. Have a blessed weekend. Yeah.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly edited for readability.