Forgiveness Isn't Reconciliation (Matthew 18:21-35)

record. There we go. We're gonna record and uh let me go ahead and pin myself. So, it's just doing me. There we go. All right. So, I don't know if it'll be all week long. Uh I'll just I'll just be led by that. But, um I want to talk about forgiveness and and what that looks like. Um and it's something and the reason why I'm bringing it up is because it's something I'm struggling with myself right now. not not necessarily the forgiveness part. Um because it's easy to state, hey, yeah, I forgiven that person, but then I start questioning, did I really did I really forgive that person?

And and if I and if I did forgive that person, wh where does that relate where does that reconciliation because those are two different things. Forgiving somebody and reconciling with them are are two on two they're in two different books. They're completely different processes. And so I've got a couple scriptures that I want to go over. And then it's how do I handle forgiveness of a believer versus how do I handle forgiveness uh of a non-believer? And because I think those are are separate issues as well too. And then there's the wisdom that comes in and where do you find that and what does that look like?

And so this is this is a big long topic. This is I don't think something that we solved and this isn't a one vers where we go, oh that was great mic drop and we're going to think about it and pray about it and we're all done. And so I think there's a lot that goes on here So what is what does Christ have to say about this? And I'm just going to cover a couple verses and and we'll unpack this as the week goes out. So don't don't don't think that you know you got to know all these today. But but I want to read Luke um and this is this is where Christ is telling us how we treat everybody not just the believer.

And so this is Luke uh 6:27 through36. And I'm only going to read a small piece. And he says and and it starts this process off where Christ says love your enemies and do good to those who hate you. I I don't think it gets any clearer than that, right? I mean, he's he's telling us that he wants us to be the example that he was. He's telling us that that yeah, we're supposed to forgive people. They they they came to him in Matthew and said, and Peter says, "Well, how many times do I forgive my brother?" Seven times. And Jesus says, "No, I say seven times 70." And so, he wasn't saying 490 times.

Jesus was saying as many times as it takes. How often do you want to be forgiven? Christ forgives you every day when you wake up. And so he was just trying to to put that on us. And so I understand as a believer that my my call is to forgive someone. Uh Christ was on the cross and uh what did he say? Father, forgive them for they they they do not know what they do. Um uh our first martyr, Stephen, who was our the first Christian to be stoned for his belief. What what he says is he's being killed is father forgive them. They don't know what they're doing.

And and so that forgiveness is supposed to go to everyone all the time. And and I don't think that that's necessarily where I think about it. Where I where I where I think about it and where I kind of want to dive in this week is what do you do with that person? All right, I've forgiven them. That person's sinned against me now a half a dozen times. A dozen times. what what do I do with that? Are they a believer? Are they a non-believer? Because Christ says that we operate differently. There's scripture, and we'll cover it tomorrow or the next day of what he wants us to do.

If there's someone in the church who continues to to hurt us, there's someone in the church who continues to sin against us. We got a formula for that. And that's written in the word, and we'll cover that. But what do we do about the about the non-believer? What what do we do with them? Yes, we're still required to forgive them. that goes I think I think I think the text is clear on that. I don't I don't think that's ambiguous. I don't think we have to think about it. Christ wants us to love everyone. Um but he wants us to be smart. He doesn't want us to be fools.

He doesn't want us to continue to walk into the same fire. And so he's got some scriptures that talk about what that looks like. And so I'm going to read two of them. I'm going to read three of them. Uh here are two in Proverbs real quick. So Proverbs 4 and23 says, "Guard your heart, for from it flows the springs of life. Guarding isn't unforgiveness." That's that's not what Solomon's saying. Guarding is stewardship. I only have one of these things and I have to make sure that it doesn't get corrupted. Right? And so so again, guarding is not unforgiveness.

It's stewardship of where you're walking, where you're going. Proverbs 22:3 and 27:12 kind of say the same thing. Says, "The prudent see danger and take cover." They don't just stand out there and continue to keep taking it. They take cover. The simple keep walking into it and suffer for it. Repeatedly walking into the same problem isn't holiness. It's the lack of wisdom. We we we don't have to continue to subject oursel to that. And so we have to employ love, but we also have to use the wisdom that God gave us and where we put that and who we give that to or or where we where we put our trust, I should say, not necessarily our love.

And then I'll give you the last one for today. And this is a tough one. And this is a tough one especially when it's a family member. it becomes exponentially more difficult. And this is 2 Corinthians 6:14 and it says,"Do not be unequally yolked with non-believers." So if you've got a family member who you love dearly and they're not a believer and they keep continue to keep hurting you, this is clear. Don't be around them. Stay away from them. You don't have to be in their proximity uh uh thinking that you need to just because they are a family member.

This gets tough. This gets hard. This is where we this is where we need this. This is where this Bible this is where we need this. This is where we have to dive in and find out, am I walking the way I should be walking? And I'm challenging myself because I'm in that spot right now. And I want to make sure that I'm not I want to make sure that I'm not being a cause for someone to stumble. I want to make sure that I'm not doing what God wants me to do as it relates to to the people that are in my life that are either a unbelievers or that are believers that continue to continue to hurt.

And so we have to be very careful about that. And so I want to take this week and I want to I want to kind of maybe maybe dive into maybe even a couple more of these verses a little more deeply. and they maybe hear, you know, where where someone's at. I I promise you, there's someone who's on this call who's struggling maybe with the very same thing. And maybe it's the forgiveness side. Maybe it's that I'm just having a hard time just allowing my heart to say, "I forgive you." Or maybe it's the reconciliation side. Or maybe it's the side that says, "This is a loved one, and they keep doing the same thing to me.

And and how do I handle that? And what do I do with that?" And so this is where there's a huge benefit. And this is the reason why the the text, this is the reason why the Bible, this is the reason why Jesus, this is the reason why the apostles, this is why it's over and over in scripture that we're not supposed to do this life by ourselves because I don't have all the answers. And I'm quite certain that there isn't anybody on here who does. But together, we can hold each other accountable. And together, we can keep each other strong. And together, we can point to other areas in the text that have helped each and every one of us.

So there you go. So thoughts, comments, suggestions. You opened the Pandora's box. Go Aggie. Yeah, there's a lot to discuss here. It can be quick time because every single thing brings do not be equally yolked. Anybody else? But yes, this is this can this can get deep. And this is what these calls not necessarily are for for us to dive. That's a Bible study. And so we only we're only going to we're only going to go in we're only going to go down so deep on this stuff because we know we only have so much time. But forgiveness is real. We we God tells us that we have to be able to give it as much as we want.

And then there's reconciliation. And then there's the difference between forgiving the unbeliever and forgiving the believer and and how we operate in that. So is there anybody else any thoughts, comments? Not only that, the more you carry that with you when you don't forgive, you're not freeing yourself and you're not giving yourself fully, I think, to God because you're carrying that heavy burden everywhere you go all the time. You can Yeah. Yep. We can keep that. We can keep a healthy distance. Yeah. Yes. Yep. A healthy distance. I like that.

And that's and and everyone's going to have to figure out what that looks like for them because that can be different for every person and every situation. But I completely agree. All right, it's 9:27. 30 seconds. Anybody? 30 seconds. All right. Well, I hit you Monday with a nice big heavy one. So, let's see if we can lighten it up as we go through the week. Let's bow our heads. Father, thank you so much for today and and thank you that I know that as we unpack this maybe throughout this week that we're going to learn that uh that the that the word covers this and that the and that the word is clear about it and that and that all we have to do is dive into it and it will help us in our heart and where we need to be and what that healthy distance might look like.

And so, Father, I just pray that that maybe we take this week and we identify who maybe someone that we're withholding forgiveness from because as Noelia said, that when when you withhold that, that's that's almost like a poison. And and that that can keep us from growing in our walk. That can keep us from loving the way that Christ intended us to. And so, so maybe that's the challenge for the week. And maybe it's maybe it's thinking about who who we really haven't forgiven and maybe who we really need to. Or maybe it's how do we how do we process this reconciliation that either we want or we don't want.

Um, Father, I just pray that that uh that we would think about this because this is an important topic. It's discussed often in your word. And Lord, I pray that we would all have a better understanding as we go through this week of what that looks like and what it means for us and what it can mean to those that are around us. And so, Father, just give us that courage to address it and that strength and wisdom found in your word to uh to process it. And so, Father, we just love you. We thank you. Guide us today. Watch over us. Um allow us to just bring everything and put it at the foot of the cross.

Lord, I know that that's what you want from us. Father, we thank you. We love you. We praise you. And as always, in your son Jesus name we pray. Amen. All right, guys. See you tomorrow. Same time. Have a really blessed day. Have a blessed day. Have a great day.

Transcript generated from the recording and lightly edited for readability.